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His hair
is too long to be stylish, but too short to be hip.
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His
fingers aren't dirty, they're just permanently stained from black
powder residue.
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He
doesn't really look 'at' you, he more like looks 'through' you,
especially if you're standing between him and the mountains.
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He makes
things from leather that other people would just buy at Walmart.
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He never
quite got the hang of the twentieth century. He has one foot in the
nineteenth, and the other in the twenty-first.
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He has a
DVD player at home, with a big-screen HDTV and 5.1 surround sound,
but the only thing he ever watches is either 'Jeremiah Johnson' or
'The Mountain Men'.
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He uses
the term 'critter' or 'varmint' when you know damn well he's talking
about a person.
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He also
uses the term 'critter' or 'varmint' to address his dog. The dog has
no idea what his real name is, provided he even has one.
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He, on
the other hand, is fully aware of what his own real name is, but
still answers to something like 'Griz' or 'Longshot'. (Or sometimes
'critter', or 'varmint'.)
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His truck
has something dangling from the rear-view mirror that you can't
quite identify, but you're pretty sure you wouldn't want to know
what it is anyway.
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When he
goes someplace, he packs a whole bag full of 'possibles', whatever
that is.
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He says
things like 'these here doins' and 'that sure enough shines', even
though he was an English major in college.
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You get
the feeling he easily spends twenty dollars or more per year on his
wardrobe (not counting his buckskins, of course).
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Speaking
of his 'skins, if he ever wrung the grease out of them things, he
could support the economy of Kuwait for a week.
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He hasn't
much patience for 'pilgrims' and 'flatlanders'. He says he's a
'hivernant', and you're willing to take his word for it.
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He has
the biggest damn knife you've ever seen, and claims to have a bigger
one at home.
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He talks
to bears. No, really.
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He can
cook a better meal on a campfire than most people can cook on the
kitchen stove. Drunk or sober.
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He knows
how to start a fire with flint and steel, and he has the scars to
prove it.
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That
black stuff all over his face isn't camouflage. He shoots a
flintlock, which is also why his beard isn't as long as it used to
be.
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If you
want to go visit him at home, he'll tell you to call ahead, so he
can meet you 'down at the road'.
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His
moccasins look like they have more miles on them than the
second-hand tires on his truck.
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